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Joke of the Day

"""WTF IS THIS?!?!"" dad demands as he looks at my report card. I explain to him the idea of schooling and grading systems and he calms down."

"Not only did I find 5 grey hairs on the top of my head but they were also sticking straight up. So....I'm transforming into Albert Einstein."

"You say I'm handsome but you also said your employer cancelled your optical coverage & you haven't had new glasses in 4 years, but thanks."

"Advice from a 6 year old patient: ""You should wear your stethoscope everywhere...girls will really like you. You look smart"""

"Chuck Norris doesn't swim, water just likes to be around him"

"I once tried starting a private airline business But it never took off"

"Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car"

"How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome? Start shouting Jehovah."

"Oxycodone With my wisdom teeth gone, I was hoping of getting a bit of a high, but all it did was relieve pain. well that was a ""downer"""

"A a few States in the south celebrate MLK and Robert E Lee day on the third Monday in January. They are working to separate them."