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Joke of the Day

"Advice from a 6 year old patient: ""You should wear your stethoscope everywhere...girls will really like you. You look smart"""

"You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line."

"How do you know it's time to do the dishes? Look in your pants, if you see a penis, it's not time yet."

"A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"I'm no sadist. Some of my best friends are sad."

"Is it alright to kiss a nun? Yeah. As long as you don't get in the habit."

"Apparently Donald Trump's favourite film is E.T... Because it's about an illegal alien that goes home."

"911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody."

"To their credit, selfie sticks may be the only proof future archaeologists have to dispute the notion cameras grew directly out of our arms"

"What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!"