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Joke of the Day

"The new $100 bills are insane. A purple stripe, the hologram thingy, the Ben Franklin that says ""kill, kill, kill"" as his eyes swirl..."

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"What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian? Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv."
"What do you call an expert in psychedelics? A trip advisor."
"'Dad, how do you feel about abortions?' Why don't you ask your sister? But I don't have a .........oooooh."
"How tall are the twin towers? 9"" 11"
"beluga whale backstroke and blowing water http://youtu.be/M6f1vovJTP4"
"What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch? Namaste"
"Willie Nelson's public statement regarding being caught with a bag of marijuana recently: ""It's a good thing I had a bag of marijuana. If it had been a bag of spinach, I'd be dead by now."""
"I just got a great deal on some real estate in California. It was a fire sale!"
"Why do Ninjas always wear black? The skilled ones don't."
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