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Joke of the Day

"Nothing rhymes with Trump Wait. I meant nothing rhymes with orange"

"What's a dog's favorite chip? Ruffles :)"

"The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself"

"My workout schedule: 1. Run half mile 2. 10 reps of 5 lb. hand weights 3. 35 year break 4. Protein shake 5. Repeat"

"Every war the Chinese have ever lost... was because of chinks in their armor."

"Non-technical people, here's a secret. We tech folks have no idea what the problem is. We just try to narrow it down, removing variables."

"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."

"What do you get when you cross a bunny with a leek? A bunion."

"If I knit you a sweater, Computer, will you stop freezing?"

"*sits gf down* i am about to ask you a big question. if you dont know the answer then thats ok... *clears throat* where is the space jam dvd"