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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."

"A good education is pretty important, but I think being good looking might be more importanter."

"When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math... ...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world."

"Years ago I went to a job placement agency. I left disappointed. Apparently nobody offers temp work as an astronaut."

"Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying ""ugh, please, this old thing."""

"What's the difference between A circus and a brothel? One has a cunning array of stunts.."

"Where do bees go to the bathroom at? at the [BP Station](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Bp_station_zanesville_ohio.jpg) *Sorry, I know...its a Dad joke.*"

"How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!"

"If you could have one super power what would it be? Cold War Russia."

"Never trust an atom they make up everything"