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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."

"What did the mom say when she found out her son took an unexpected trip north? I don't like your latitude!"

"""Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk.""n""What makes you so sure?""n""He is a penguin."""

"What is Hitler's favorite drink? concentrated jews"

"My Favorite Joke (Sorry Cat Lovers) How do you make a cat go Woof? Soak it in gasoline and throw it in a fire place!"

"Lush is kinda like cocaine. Its all lined up on the tables and you spend your entire time using your nose."

"My friend bet me $5 that I couldn't tell a joke and sneeze... ...at the same time. I tried and tried but finally realized that I'd bitten off more than I could aaaachhooo."

"Called my mum to tell her I was stuck in a rut. She yells that life is tough, get on with it & hangs up. I'm now waiting on a tow truck."

"Pay me a complement. Wife: I look like a fat, ugly, wrinkly, pig, be a dear and pay me a complement Husband: Your eyesight's damn near perfect. Edit:Format"

"Why could Don Juan always pick up girls in his car? It was electric. Also, the car had a set of hands."