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Joke of the Day

"Every war the Chinese have ever lost... was because of chinks in their armor."

"I like to nickname my penis Buzz Lightyear Because he likes to travel to the star and beyond"

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"I wanted to make a joke about quantum physics, but I wasn't sure if I should. So I did and didn't."

"An Australian man walked in on his girlfriend getting changed and she said ""Have you heard of knocking?"" He said ""It doesn't ring a bell"""

"Did you hear about the war on diarrhea? It started out as a smear campaign, but ended up being a real shitshow."

"So I told my secretary.... to go buy me a fighting stick, but the best he could find was a walking stick. Honestly you can't get the staff."

"If we were in a fight, I'd mop the floor with you... Except I don't do housework."

"IF YOU LIKE THAT FACEBOOK STATUS SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?!"

"I gonna rank you so low you gonna hafta take a rocketship to hell they gonna hafta build a fence around you, keep the ants from pissin on you you gonna hafta look up to look down"