71975

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207..."

"Why don't they show porn on an IMAX screen? Because they can't fit your mum on the screen"

"Don't believe everything you think."

"I am a janitor... They call me Dwayne ""The Smock"" Johnson."

"I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it's the duct tape of food."

"Go ahead and assume it's a banana; I'm rarely that happy to see anyone."

"Told my wife that Hooters is an owl rescue sanctuary where I'm doing important volunteer work."

"Today a girl kissed me I just wish that I could post this in another subreddit :("

"How many Reddit mods does it take to change a lightbulb? A substantial amount, you fucking morons."

"I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg...making me a MERMAID!"