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Joke of the Day
"Told my wife that Hooters is an owl rescue sanctuary where I'm doing important volunteer work."
Next Joke
"There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops."
"What does an Irish Samuel L Jackson say when passing someone on the street? Top of the Mornin' Muthafucka!"
"Why did the suicide bomber explode on the train? To get to the other side."
"Yes, I read Quantum Physics. But only for the particles."
"""Go ahead, caller. . ."" ""Yes, hello. My dog dug up a femur and I'd like to make soup. Would you suggest carrots or potatoes?"""
"Girls : ""Do I look fat?"" A girl asked a high-school boy, ""Do I look fat?"" The boy replied, ""Where?"" [teenage]"
"The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair."
"It took me an hour to attach my watches to each other to make a belt. It was a **waist** of time."
"If life gives you melons you might be dyslexic."