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Joke of the Day

"Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians? Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions."

"No Shave November No Deodorant December Lose Your Job January Forget To Pay Rent February Move in With Mom and Dad March"

"Bob drowned... , so at his funeral we put a life jacket over his grave. It is what he would have wanted."

"A Priest and a Rabbi observe a 10-year old boy walking down the street. Priest: Wanna fuck him? Rabbi: Out of what?"

"My kids lost a Barbie shoe. I dug in the trash and found one. It was from a set they didn't know was missing Now I'm looking for 2 shoes."

"Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain"

"I'm a straight white guy who gets sad and is terrified of intimacy. Give me my own show! I am so unique!!!!!!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I'm addicted to twitter... Sorry, I don't follow you."

"A guy was admitted to the emergency ward with half a dozen toy horses stuck up his ass. His condition was listed as ""stable""."

"What do you get if you turn an evil laugh backwards? A laughing cow. Ahahahahahahahamoo."