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Joke of the Day

"A Priest and a Rabbi observe a 10-year old boy walking down the street. Priest: Wanna fuck him? Rabbi: Out of what?"

"Santa is near .... ... I can sense his presents."

"BRUTUS: hail Caesar *draws knife* CEASAR: not this time *hands Brutus an Uno ""reverse"" card* B: SHIT ROMAN SENATE:*stabs Brutus to death*"

"There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns--maybe one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"When a waitress asks if I'd like to hear about the specials, I politely explain that talking about retarded people ruins my appetite."

"I just flushed a stink bug down the toilet along with the dump. Who's the stink bug now, Bitch?"

"Someone needs to tell attractive people that their stories are boring."

"My Black friend was pissed off that he didn't get a job he was totally qualified for so I told him to ""lighten up"" we're no longer friends."

"I would make an economics joke But there's no demand"

"Last night I got drunk and lonely, so I tried the peanut butter with my dog trick... ...still tasted like dog cock."