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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, ""Spit out your gum!"" The other goes, ""Choo Choo Choo"""

"The best way to get over someone is probably with your car"

"I think all dads are in a secret competition to see who can sneeze the loudest."

"Deez Nutz GOTEM!"

"I'd say Blair Walsh is kicking himself right now... But he was probably wide to the left."

"""You'll have more fun in high school, Zach.""nn""You'll have more fun in college, Zach.""nn""You'll have more fun in Hell, Zach."""

"Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years."

"Bill:""My homework is really difficult tonight I've to write an essay on an elephant.""? Bert:""Well for a start your going to need a big ladder.."""

"A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes... My dogs don't even own bikes.."

"When life gives you lemons, you should peel one in front of the other lemons. You know... to send a message."