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Joke of the Day

"I'd say Blair Walsh is kicking himself right now... But he was probably wide to the left."

"What does SAG-AFTRA call a low-budget foreign production? Scrub-a-dub-dub."

"Remember the old times in the Internet? Where men are men, women are men, and the national security agents are young children."

"Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk just to be with you."

"Two blonde girls... ...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home."

"I would rather crush the shit out of the back of my shoes than bend over and put them on properly."

"In a way people that work in coffee shops are also First Responders. #Heroes"

"*gets into trouble* Trouble: Wrong hole."

"I gotta imagine one of the worst things you can do is shit your snowsuit."

"This bar smells so bad and I can't tell who's homeless and who's a hipster."