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Joke of the Day
"I think all dads are in a secret competition to see who can sneeze the loudest."
Next Joke
"Want a slutty costume? Dress up like my professors, they barely cover anything important."
"Why can't dyslexics tell jokes? They always punch up the fuckline."
"What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and two kids playing catch at the park? I actually give a shit if the kids lose their balls."
"Woody Allen's version of his life will be his most brilliant fiction."
"Fingerprints are proof that God doesn't trust us"
"96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in."
"German sausages, eh? They're the Wurst!"
"I just want a woman that will look out for me while I'm shaking the vending machine"
"I don't think I'll beheading to the Middle East any time soon."