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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a little Lannister when winter finally comes? Peter Shrinklage"

"What did I have to tell the homeopathic drug addict? That's an oxy, moron!"

"I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist."

"What does a mathematician do when they have constipation....? They work it out with a pencil!"

"A man is at the checkout to purchase some condoms... ...the cashier asks, ""Would you like a bag as well?"" the man replies, ""Oh, no thank you--she isn't that ugly."""

"A black man enters a bar... with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said; - That's cool! Where did you get that? - In Africa, replied the parrot."

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his entire family"

"If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite."

"I was undressing a guy with my eyes, but my eyelid got caught on a zipper"

"A giraffe was at an airport security check line. The security guy asked ""Is that your laptop?"". The giraffe replied ""I thought you would never ask."""