210090
Joke of the Day
"I was undressing a guy with my eyes, but my eyelid got caught on a zipper"
Next Joke
"What is a Jew's favorite Mexican food? Carne Masada"
"I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole I didn't avocado"
"I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down...... inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
"What's Donald Trumps's favorite Christmas carol? White Christmas"
"To my English teachers who encouraged me to create magical works of literature as a boy. Here is my 3,007th Tweet. You can be proud."
"Coworker: Do u have a phone charger? Me: No. CW: How about the 1 on your desk? Me: WHO ARE U CALLING A JIGGABOO LINDA?! CW: OMG! *runs away*"
"Why does /r/fencing suck so bad? Half of it is ripostes"
"My new years resolutions are: 1: Stop making lists. B: Be more consistent. 7: Learn to count."
"Decent One Liner! A seal walks into a club."