71762

Joke of the Day

"A giraffe was at an airport security check line. The security guy asked ""Is that your laptop?"". The giraffe replied ""I thought you would never ask."""

"In Soviet Russia, tired joke format tweets YOU."

"*Do not consume if seal is broken* I've just gone through this whole box of animal crackers and haven't found one seal."

"Why doesn't r/jokes like fencers? Because they always riposte."

"What's a good treatment for insomnia? Bill Cosby"

"When someone tells me they're sick I try to make them feel better with a story about my own sickness that was much worse and many years ago."

"If you're worried about not getting a New Year's Eve kiss this year, just remember Valentine's Day is coming up and you're probably going to be alone for that, too."

"A slightly drunk woman is watching tv... She yells, ""Don't go there! Don't go up the stairs! Don't go into the church you dumb bitch!"" Her husband asks, ""What are you watching?"" ""Our wedding video."""

"A guy doesn't go into a bar... Unaware, the bartender continues serving drinks to other people."

"John... ...[Staymoist](http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/21300000/John-Stamos-john-stamos-21331988-1611-1089.jpg)"