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Joke of the Day

"What do you get the girl who has everything? Penicillin."

"Thanks to twitter the approval of family and friends has taken a backseat to the approval of strangers on the Internet."

"Why did the cop shoot the insomniac? He was resisting a rest"

"Ok redditors i need your best volleyball or nazi puns!"

"Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?"

"I understand why Jesus was crucified But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher."

"Did you hear about the Circus fire? Yea, it was in tents."

"if i told you you have a beautiful body.... would you hold it against me?"

"Why do teen girls travel in groups of three? Because they literally can't even."

"Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*"