36045

Joke of the Day

"There is a ""lie"" in believe, ""over"" in lover, ""end"" in friend, ""us"" in trust, ""ex"" in ""next"" & ""if"" in life."

"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."

"It is NOT acceptable to lift up the back of a woman's shirt to look at her lower back tattoo, even if you're at Walmart... I know that now"

"What's the good word? Legs. Spread the word!"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only half the things that come out of her vagina are retarded"

"So I used to sleep on my carpet... I'd have to say, it was a pretty flooring experience."

"I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with."

"5: Daddy whatcha doin'? Me: Cleaning my shot gun 5:Why? Me: Because one day a boy will like you 5:You mean like Ben? *racks the chamber*"

"I tried explaining sarcasm to some kleptomaniacs but they always take things literally."

"Kanye's daughter's first hit single. . . North by North West"