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Joke of the Day

"Why does my wife always wait until I'm at the opposite end of the house before asking me to 'Merm frner mernferr brnerfer!'?"

"What is Will Smith's favorite type of forensic evidence? Fresh prints."

"In my spare time I like to.... Comment the funniest thing, it doesn't have to be true"

"Clean: How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, place a bunch of peas in that hole, and when a polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him right in the ice hole."

"How do you make a dwarf taller? Ge-gnome therapy"

"How do writers send e-mail? On the Inkernet."

"Out of curiosity I decided to look at Pinterest, and I've decided it's basically cyber-hoarding..."

"I called the bookstore and asked if they had any books about constipation. She told me it hasn't come out yet"

"Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy? I heard everybody had a blast."

"son: why is my name jesus dad: mom wanted to name u after a rolemodel other son: &me? dad: well Charizard the same reason but it was my turn"