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Joke of the Day
"Out of curiosity I decided to look at Pinterest, and I've decided it's basically cyber-hoarding..."
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"Why do college girls only hang out in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even."
"The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher."
"Has anybody told raccoons about crosswalks?"
"Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this"
"A group of people walk into a bar... An Irishman, a rabbi, a Japanese man, a blind man and a boat captain walk into a bar. The bartender asks ""is this some kind of a joke?"""
"Detective: ok forensics is finished. I'll start here and you- Dog cop: I'll mark our territory [dog cop pees around the crime scene tape]"
"police codes 472: loitering 213: man with horse eyes 304: gnarly dirtbike 94: breaking & entering 834: dog smoking weed 58: sexy loitering"
"Oh Jesus another fuckin day, they just keep comin."
"A redditor discovers that the world will end in 23 hours... The news never even got to report on it."