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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a lockpicker. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a lockpicker. We should break it off."" Me: ""But then it might get stuck inside the lock!"""

"An Irishman, An Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? SUPER DANCE OFF?? Cop: OH YEAH OH YEAH? Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest. oh no"

"In Episode III, why did Obi Wan not finish Anakin off after their duel? Because Anakin was unarmed."

"Why did the rooster cross the road? To show he wasn't a chicken."

"Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same... Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal."

"Small town gynecologists... I bet they spend a lot of time looking up old friends."

"A man and a boy are walking through a dark forest. The boy says to the man ""I'm scared."" The man says, ""You're scared? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

"What is Fonzi's favorite letter of the alphabet? ""F"", for Fonzi. Duh."

"How many glasses of wine equals two servings of fruit? Asking for a friend."