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Joke of the Day

"An Irishman, An Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"""How dare you accuse us of cheating?"" said the Patriots, struggling to get a jersey on the giant robot tiger that Katy Perry rode in on."

"RIP time spent on Twitter."

"dont be sad, girl. u are like a iceberg.. 90% of ur beauty is below the surface. now 95%. now 100% OMG GIRL ARE YOU DROWNIMG"

"42.7 percent of all statistics... ...are made up on the spot."

"England soccer team have got a new captain today His names George Smith and he'll be flying the A380 back to Heathrow.."

"If God didn't want us to jack off he would have... ...given us shorter arms"

"How come when someone goes to sit down and the seat is dirty they use their hand to wipe the seat then wipe their dirty hands on their pants? What was the point"

"If Jesus invested $1 dollar when He was alive, it would have grown into $100 trillion dollars today. But that's the thing about Jesus, He didn't invest, He saved."

"Having some romantic time with yo girl when she asks you to go deeper But you run out of poems."