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Joke of the Day

"Give me a T! ""Give me a T."" ""T"" ""Give me a T."" ""T"" ""Oh, fuck it. I'll go to another cafe."""

"I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later."

"What do you say to an alien with two heads? Hello. Hello."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"#rubbishjokes How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's a hardware problem."

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk"

"How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots."

"Twitter goes over capacity more than Kirstie Alley's home elevator."

"I never ever make mitsakes."

"I repaired my watch with some old parts. It's got a second-hand second hand."