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Joke of the Day

"In Episode III, why did Obi Wan not finish Anakin off after their duel? Because Anakin was unarmed."

"A limerick for Guildford in Surrey At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry I had to act quick To cool down my dick So I stuck it into my McFlurry"

"7 for a Taken 3 ticket, 3 for a drink, 5 for doritos... ...The only thing they've taken is the piss."

"i had a dream a policeman came into my apartment and gave me a field sobriety test and i failed and went to jail"

"Why was the bottle laying down? someone flipped it."

"Doctor Nervous by Three year old When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, ""Do I have to drink it?"""

"I once knew a Johnny Glasscock in elementary school... You could always see him coming..."

"""Hey what should we call our multi-million dollar juice company?"" ""Juicy Juice"" ""What? Are you sure? Why don't we-"" ""Juicy. Juice."""

"My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon."

"*Approaches a guy reading ""Catch Me If You Can""* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans."