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Joke of the Day

"[Bar] ""Two long necks please"" Giraffe in the back: Wow. Did he just- Giraffe's wife: Cliff, he didn't mean anything by it please sit down"

"What's the worst vegetable to have on a boat? My fucking retarded son"

"I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist."

"Hey, dude who's still lighting fireworks at midnight, nobody would notice a couple of gunshots right now."

"Did you see the fantastic four? Human torch played by uncle ruckus."

"Someone told me I am bad at driving I told them that if they didn't like my driving, they should get off the sidewalk."

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."

"According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer? Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord."

"if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney 's"

"My friend asked what the difference between sin 135 and cos 135 I told him, ""just change the sine."""