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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a virgin redneck? A 7 year old who can run faster than her brothers."

"If a movie is ever titled Reception, we know it won't be starring AT&T.; Am I right? Up top!"

"Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ? He wanted to grow mash potatoes!"

"Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ? Because he didn't have enough guts"

"Anytime someone over reacts about a joke Hey, it's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard."

"I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day... It was Risky Business."

"I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould.... I think I've set a dangerous president."

"[Gets a Netflix notification on phone] FRIEND: Is that your ex? ME: [Lying] No."

"God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?"

"Have you ever eaten at that Ethiopian restraunt? There portions are like..nothing."