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Joke of the Day

"I ate an optimist once.. but I couldn't keep him down!"

"I said ""I'm not going to repeat myself"""

"What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat? Skip"

"Cam Newton Just signed a contract with McDonalds. He will be promoting turnovers."

"Knock knock Knock, knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us. Open up!"

"If I can see your boner I'm going to acknowledge it with a subtle head nod. Respect."

"What do you call white on the top and black at the bottom? Society."

"POLICE! OPEN THE DOOR! What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station staring at a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]"

"My doctor said my blood sodium level is apparently too high but I take everything with a grain of salt."

"How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire."