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Joke of the Day

"My wife doesn't like me to shave my face for the same reason I like her to shave her pussy She says it makes me look like a 12 year old."

"Yeah, I'm majoring in math. Then when I graduate I'll get a job down at the math factory. Maybe even work my way up to CEO of math one day."

"This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job."

"I used to have a job eating vegetables I hated it, but the celery was good"

"Understanding women isn't rocket science. Rocket science has rules and boundaries."

"If you still talk about it, you still care about it."

"Why do gay people smoke cigarettes? They love butts in their mouth"

"Doctor's appt: doctor checked me for hernia. Oddly replaced typical ""turn your head and cough"" with ""who's my dirty bitch."""

"What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon? the cow didn't make it."

"My wife asked me how I was going to feel when our son started dating... Apparently jealous was not the right answer."