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Joke of the Day

"What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon? the cow didn't make it."

"Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week? Because Wednesday is hump day."

"Every time I tie my shoe I feel like I'm giving a faraway sniper the go signal."

"Does anyone know where concentrate is? I've been drinking lovely orange juice from there for years now.."

"I ran into my ex today. Long story short, my car is totaled."

"I was rejected at this job interview that I had. Apparently, ""gang rape"" is not a suitable example to prove that you are good at working in teams."

"I'm leaving you for an NSA officer ""I'm leaving you for an NSA officer,"" she said. ""But why? What does he have that I don't?"" ""He listens to me."""

"A donkey falls into a bowl of sugar... Now, that's a sweet ass."

"Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you're crazy, they look at you like you're amazing."

"Dear Apple, Sorry to hear that you're still figuring out how cell phones work."