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Joke of the Day

"I just read a list of 100 things to do before you die... Surprisingly enough, yell for help wasn't anywhere on it."

"Comedy Club I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back. Now I work in Corporate America."

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and an all-girl track team? Pygmies are cunning runts."

"Shortest joke about misfortune A seal walks into a club"

"ME: woud u be open to adoption? HUSBAND: yes [later, at the adoption agency] ME: yes hi, i'd like to put my husband up for adoption"

"I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like."

"Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather? -They are too busy studying comets and meteors"

"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators but when he arrived there was no one there, he'd come too early."

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."

"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial A young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. -- Some Sumerian, 1900 BC"