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Joke of the Day

"I just read a list of 100 things to do before you die... Surprisingly enough, yell for help wasn't anywhere on it."

"[interview] Your resume says you have a ""take no prisoners attitude"". You know you are applying to be a corrections officer, right?"

"I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed."

"I follow my mother's advice and make little things count... Although I'm not sure if she meant me teaching midgets math."

"Are you lactose intolerant? If so, you won't be able to handle this cheesy joke"

"If a hungry shark is after you what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!"

"What do you get when you cross a busy road with a broken leg and a blindfold? Hit."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he ain't coming over to you."

"Milky Way is Snicker's nut-less, gay little brother."

"For all of us singles out there... Happy Ballantine's day!!"