7009

Joke of the Day

"There is a fine line between ""important to me"" and ""dead to me."" Don't walk it."

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"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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"Before you assume that ghetto thugs are brainless, think about this: ""Yo, when you gonna let me tap that ass?"" is in iambic pentameter."
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"Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?"
"ME: So. You from around here? HER: Yes. You're in my bedroom closet."
"*sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*"