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Joke of the Day

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Just because she's dead doesn't mean she can't still screw."

"(After you win something, say this to the loser). You're like an Italian man with his foot in his mouth (Italian accent) You tasted defeat."

"Currently the most offensive joke going through my head. What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines? A Dishonourable Discharge."

"I went to a camouflage themed party the other day... but I didn't see anybody there."

"My GFs family are religious which sux 1st time I stayed there her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Was a shame cuz he was very attractive"

"As a kid, I put snowballs in the blender to make a slushy. Snowballs was a good cat..."

"""Damn girl are you a dam, girl? Cuz your water just broke haha"" yes we will go to the hospital in a minute honey, jesus christ im tweeting"

"Me: When I was lying in bed, I found this huge lump. I need it removed. Doctor: Ma'am, that's your husband. Me: And your point is...?"

"I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast."

"What does a suicidal multiple personality say every morning? If I don't kill myself soon, I will!"