202614

Joke of the Day

"Do you know what Pinocchio and your dad have in common? They were both inside a whale."

"My girlfriends 2 year old nephew loves trucks. His first word was truck. He points at every truck he sees and talks about trucks in his sleep. I guess you could day he's semi crazy"

"What's the worst part about being a rollerblader? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"I hate it when auto-correct changes my ""omg"" to ""OMG"" like, chill out, I'm not that surprised."

"that's right. you know how to get down off an elephant? - you don't you get down from a duck."

"The NSA The only part of the government that actually listens"

"I was Hungary... so Iran to Turkey"

"A man gets pulled over... the officer asks the man ""Are you drunk right now?"" The man behind the wheel says ""I swear to drunk I'm not god"""

"A stripper once told me that I'm not her type. Um, yeah I am. I have a dick and 20 dollars."

"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that but it's also terrible."