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Joke of the Day
"I'm often accused of being condescending. That means I talk down to people."
Next Joke
"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the crap out of their dogs!"
"Knock Knock! -Who is it? -Santa -Oh, come on in santa. What did you bring me this year!? -Your black friday debts bitch! I'm Santa nder!"
"Mother: What do you mean the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit."
"I appreciate when aerobic instructors say ""Don't forget to breathe"" because I sometimes forget and then I die."
"The camping shop in Stratford-upon-Avon is having a sale of last season's stock. Their slogan....? Now.. is the winter of our discount tents."
"Ah, water. Giver of life. Destroyer of witches. Improver of tee shirt contests."
"Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff."
"What's long, hard, 6 inches, and makes the ladies scream when it's put in their mouth or up their vagina? A knife."
"What is the difference between peanut butter and a blonde? The blonde is easier to spread!"