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Joke of the Day

"Nothing brings a family closer at graduation than a flask."

"What are two letters a Brit can't live without? T and Qs."

"What is hard, long, and full of seamen? A submarine"

"The best curve on a girl is her smile... Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass."

"I think the health care bill is unpopular because it lacks vampires."

"I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking."

"[freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour"

"Why did the rabbit go to rehab? He was hopped up on easter eggs."

"Jared of Subway fame's house was raided for investigation of child porn charges..... I found it surprising, as Jared seems to prefer footlongs."

"""Oh holy shit, what the hell is this!"" -people who request songs on the radio discovering the internet for the first time"