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Joke of the Day

"How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do? enough to kill 2 1/2 men."

"Guy walks into a bar and asks for a ""Lindsay Lohan shot""... Bartender asks ""What is that?"" He replies with ""Oh you know, A redheaded-slut with a splash of coke."""

"What do little pigs want to be when they grow up? Garbage collectors."

"I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well... I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this."

"*singing scales* Do, Re, uh... *calls Lionel Ritchie* ""Hey"" Hello! ""What comes after Do & Re on a music scale?"" Is it Mi you're looking for?"

"BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities."

"Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other XD"

"So I was walking down the street, when suddenly it hit me... I guess I was too deep in thought to notice that bus coming."

"What's the similarity between a smart employee and a perfect volleyball hit? They're both fine assets!"

"What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes? I'm walkin' here!"