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Joke of the Day

"*singing scales* Do, Re, uh... *calls Lionel Ritchie* ""Hey"" Hello! ""What comes after Do & Re on a music scale?"" Is it Mi you're looking for?"

"I'd say I'm quite good at sex ...but I'm not able to blow my own trumpet"

"The American Dental Association recently awarded their ""Dentist of the Year"" award once again. But all it is is a little plaque."

"Reality! 11:30- I will go to bed soon. 03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory."

"Little known fact: most shepards have NO idea how many sheep are in their flock.... Every time they try to count them....."

"Autocannibalism is self-serving."

"What do you call a bicycle with no seat? A real pain in the ass."

"When someone with a lisp says bismuth... You know they mean business."

"IKEA has invented a half full glass for optimists, that can ALSO serve as a half empty glass for pessimists!!!"

"Smokey: ""Only you can prevent forest fires"" Me: HOLY SHIT A TALKING BEAR"