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Joke of the Day

"Guy walks into a bar and asks for a ""Lindsay Lohan shot""... Bartender asks ""What is that?"" He replies with ""Oh you know, A redheaded-slut with a splash of coke."""

"What do you call an eskimo peeping tom? Tom Tookalook. I'm sorry guys..."

"Did you hear about the race between the two decapitated heads? I heard they were neck and neck"

"Ha ha! OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! ""dude, are you gonna do this every time you rearrange the furniture"""

"I keep throwing up when I count in French My doctor thinks I might have a huit allergy"

"In Korean restaurant w/my son & Korean waitress says to him""Hi, how are you""? ""Sorry I don't speak Chinese"" Great. I've raised a douche!"

"I know 27 different jokes about eyeballs... ...But this one's cornea than the rest!"

"Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film."

"If you are not part of the solution, you're probably running for President"

"I got confused watching highlights from the SAG awards. I always thought they were the 15-year reunions of the AVNs."