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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning ? About an hour and a half after I arrived at school"

"Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question."

"""Sorry"" seems to be the hardest word? There's ""Worcestershire,"" ""anemone"" & ""otorhinolaryngologist."" But whatever."

"Police - OPEN UP OR WE ARE COMING IN Me- SOUNDS GREAT CAN YOU GRAB MY CHARGER FROM MY CAR"

"The Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and be awarded eternal life"" John came fifth and was awarded a toaster"

"I have a friend who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime."

"What's the name of the scared sky diver? Hugo First"

"No one sleeps with Gandalf because it takes him until first light on the fifth day to come."

"Why don't melons ever run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she. Do you know what her dogs name was? (insert Wookie noise) Do you know why her dog ran away? You would to if your name was (insert Wookie noise)."