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Joke of the Day

"Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question."

"what do computers & old testament gods have in common Lots of rules and no mercy"

"What do you say to give an electrician encouragement? ""You conduit!"""

"Jeb! Jeb Bush: I hereby suspend my presidential campaign with immediate effect. Audience claps Jeb: You guys are assholes!"

"How did they keep the pilot out of the cockpit? With an Allahu Lockbar."

"If the skin on your elbow is called a weenus... Is the skin on your knee called a knee-nus? (I'm so sorry)"

"If I weren't such a genus I'd be more specific."

"""Despite my best efforts, my hot air balloon just isn't going to fly."" ""Dude, that's a bike with a blanket on it."" ""My best efforts."""

"Best technique for screwing a fattie... Flip through her rolls until you smell shit, then just flip back one."

"That's definitely not my ringtone, but I'm going to have to check my phone anyway."