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Joke of the Day

"[1st day working at bank] BOSS: What are you doing?? ME: I gave that man a personal loan. BOSS: YOU'RE THE JANITOR"

"What fruit can't be married by itself. Cantaloupe"

"POKER ANIMALS Q: What animal should you never play cards with? A: A cheetah!"

"Where does an elephant carry its laptop? In its trunk."

"Social Justice Warriors are so sensitive that... Social Justice Warriors are so sensitive that they don't need a Large Hadron Collider to locate the Higgs-Boson Particle."

"If a car in front of me is driving slow, I move to the side a little so the cars behind me can see I'm not causing the traffic"

"The University of Alabama is the only place... where Ancestry.com and eHarmony are one and the same."

"And as they were eating, Jesus took content and linked to it, giving it to his disciples, and said, 'Take, eat; this is my brand'"

"Whenever somebody hits me, I yell, ""Somebody grab the pepper..."" ""...I was just as**sa**u**lt**ed!"""

"When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler."