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Joke of the Day

"Friend: ""Did you bring condoms?"" Me: ""No need. If I'm drunk enough to talk to a girl, I'm way too drunk to get it up."""

"Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? It said ""concentrate"" on it!"

"She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element."

"Dude you're a dentist. Why am I in stirrups?"

"What does a racist joke and a crime have in common? They both start with you looking over your shoulder."

"What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? ""Look grandpa, no hands!"""

"Sucks how Caesar died... ...Who knew he was allergic to knives?!"

"I once dated a girl with twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozentit?"

"People keeping New Years resolutions"

"There are 5 things I really hate: 1) Racists. 2) People who can't spell. 3) Math 4) Whyte people"