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Joke of the Day
"The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind."
Next Joke
"Just made an annoying kid shut right up by making a throat slash gesture. So I guess you could say I'm like a child whisperer."
"Have you heard about these cats getting plastic surgery to look like kittens?"
"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess snails make? Credit to Oney in [this](http://youtu.be/lZWJKhLe6wo?t=7m46s) for that one."
"You laugh at the burrito in my purse, until you get hungry."
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Japan stays in Japan Until she turns 18, that is."
"Uno and mexican :/ Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they steal all the green cards."
"What's the driest joke you ever heard of? Your mom's pussy"
"A woman was arrested when her boyfriend's body was found in a freezer in their living room. Who the hell puts a freezer in the living room?"
"Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets."