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Joke of the Day

"Dude you're a dentist. Why am I in stirrups?"

"A decepticon is a just a cheeky emoticon at the end of a message intended to excuse the sender and confuse the recipient. Ex: Please die ;)"

"""Raising a family is hard,"" he said. ""Not if they're buried close enough together,"" replied the Necromancer."

"[at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster"

"How many Russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, and one to shoot him if he does it wrong."

"I'm going to shave my beard. Her legs will look #FAAAABULOUUUUUS!"

"Why couldn't the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter? Because it was too Win+D"

"Which Harry Potter character is best suited for an apple product. Sirius black"

"what idiot named it jurassic world instead of parks and rex"

"What is a computer programmers favorite brand of ice cream. Haagen DOS"