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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"Choosing between Hillary and Trump is like having to fart really bad while sitting between Scarlett Johansson and The Pope. I don't know which way to lean."

"Did you hear about the meteorologist competition? The losers got precipitation trophies."

"Russian nesting dolls are so full of themselves."

"If you don't like oral sex You should keep your mouth shut"

"Did you hear about the campers with explosive diarrhea? That shi* was intense."

"The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently."

"Two months ago my teacher asked me the name of the clothes indian women wear. Is it too late now to say ""sari""?"

"Safety Tip: Always have a loaded water gun ready to go in case of a home invasion by a cat burglar."

"A man walks into a bar.. Ouch."