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Joke of the Day

"*Buys world map* *Pins map to wall* *Promises to visit wherever dart lands* *Throws dart at fridge*"

"Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock."

"Did you hear about the guy who got herpes in his eyebrows? He was looking for love in all the wrong places."

"""knock knock."", ""Who's there?"", ""Allah"", ""allah who?"" ""ALLAHU AKBARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"""

"The workers at the inn aren't very friendly... they create a hostel environment."

"If I ever build my own house, I'm putting a toilet right in front of the refrigerator."

"The truth You'll never see a church with free wifi. I guess it's because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works"

"A vegan, an atheist, and a CrossFit enthusiast walk into a bar. I only know because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it."

"When I was a kid, my family was very poor... I remember my dad was cutting Onion and our whole family was crying. Poor Onion. He was such a good dog..."

"Dinner conversation: 10YO: What 6 things would you want on a deserted island? Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously? Why would you drag me into that?"