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Joke of the Day

"Jehovah's Witnesses They have to be the worst at knock knock jokes."

"I know what I'm getting for Christmas. Fat. I'm getting fat."

"I farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around. I felt like I was on The Voice!"

"What do you get when you cross The Atlantic with The Titanic? About halfway."

"*pulls out earbud* What? ""We need to talk."" *pulls out earbud* ""You've been spending too much time at Chernobyl."" *pulls out earbud* No way"

"My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement"

"Two Cleaners In A Car... Broom Broom"

"If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother"

"How do you get an iraqi woman pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"Whenever my parents talk about the good old days' they always seem to stop at 1979. Which is pretty cool, because that's also the year I was born... wait... what?"