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Joke of the Day

"*pulls out earbud* What? ""We need to talk."" *pulls out earbud* ""You've been spending too much time at Chernobyl."" *pulls out earbud* No way"

"What do you get when you cross a pickle with a deer? A dill doe."

"So it looks like there was a paedophile ring operating at the heart of Thatcher's government. I don't know why everyones so shocked, they were well known for fucking miners."

"What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."

"Why do they call it ""Ben Folds Five""? Because he folds five penises and puts them into little drawers!"

"Schooner or later, sailors... ...engage in rudder nonsense."

"My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email."

"Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee? Because she used #nofilter"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba dum tiss"

"What pier is disliked by almost everybody? Piers Morgan."