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Joke of the Day

"I left my wife for a bin man.... .... But he wouldn't take her"

"I started a club for guys with erectile dysfunction We're trying to get our membership up"

"A joke from my 5 year old brother... Q: What has four legs but doesn't move? A: A statue of a dog!"

"If I owned my own strip club, I'd probably name it 'The Museum' 'Cause, you know, no touching. If 'The Museum' worked out, I might open another one and call it ""Blue Balls."" Pretty self explanatory."

"My parents are super religious.... At night all I can hear is ""Oh god! Oh god! Jesus!"""

"Nothing better than experiencing the majesty and wonder of the great outdoors on a really good television."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!' Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes"

"Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you're a part of something?"

"H:""Where'd you get those shoes?"" Me:""I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw?"" H:""Nope just cleaned the old one"" *Marriage lies"

"[Starbucks] ME: [bursts in] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT LARGE BARISTA: [shrugs] ME: [sigh] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT VENTI B: *grande screaming noises*"