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Joke of the Day

"The cutest thing my SO does... Her handwriting looks like she has Parkinson's"

"You're good, Adobe Acrobat. You're fine just the way you are. No need to continue updating every three days."

"I'm getting old, The only way I can screw a woman... Is to borrow money from her and not pay her back. (Credit given to my friend. i'm not that clever.)"

"Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses? He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes."

"What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"

"*spelling bee* Me: b-e-e Judge 1: No, sir, wait until we tell- Me: B-E-E Judge 2: I mean, he's not wrong"

"Yes, in fact I DO know what it's like to bleed like crazy once a month. That's my flossing schedule."

"A woman once said she recognized me from the vegetarian club But I'd never met herbivore."

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was lousy, but the reception was great!"